Are you gay? No. Ok.

What dud the baseball player do when he struck out? Walked back to the bench

Nyan cat had pancakes for breakfast.

What do you call a dragon with no wings? A komodo dragon

How does a pirate get to work? His CAAAARRRR! Where does the pirate go after work? The BAAAARRRR! How does the pirate get home from the bar? A taxi. A pirate doesn't drive after consuming alcohol.

What do you call cheese that is not yours? The fact that you do not own the cheese doesnt change its name

Whats that cool sound it makes when you thumbs a comment?

What do you get when you mix a dog with a pool table? I don't know.

a man walks into a bar after a long day at work, and asks for a drink. he finishes, pays the bill and leaves a handsome tip for the bartender and heads home.

Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know I'm not a mind reader.

A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation. John was never the same.

What's purple and smells like crap? Crap. I lied about the purple

Q: Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? A: A couple of pigs with questionable carpenter's skills, and maybe Red Riding Hood. Grandma wasn't so lucky.

Q:What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A:I like your shoelaces!

yous are all f u c k i n g dumb like rat kavanagh

What is the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves

Bum: Excuse me, can you spare some change? Rich man: No

Why did the man go to sleep at 9:30? Because his mom told him to

What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizz

*DRRRRIN* Finally someone uses the doorbell.

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if a man is alone in the forest, and there are no women around to hear him...........is he still wrong?

What kind of fire alarm does a zebra not like? One that doesn't work

whats black and white and slides on its belly a penguin

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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