knock knock whos there open the door and find out

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why do i have a pain in my left side i dont know but im scared

thumb_up thumb_down -3

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walks into a bar...... He then wakes up in a hospital. along with a large bruise on his forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Want to hear an urban legend? There's a straight feminist.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock Knock Whose there? Boo I don't know anyone by the name of Boo. Go away

thumb_up thumb_down -3

If i wanted your 2 cents i'd rob you

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats green and has wheels? A Rednecks front lawn.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock Knock Who's there? Nobel Nobel who? There was no bell, that's why I'm knocking you idiot

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One. This task does not require over 1 person to complete.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Error 37.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Where do black people ride bicycles? In the Pedestrian Zone.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Chuck Noris

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why couldn't the black kid buy a bike? He had no money.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was a metaphor.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing, animals are in capable of formal cumunication.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What has four legs, and smells when it's wet? A wet dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How much Is a free app on my market?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Person 1-How do you spell pulmonary embolism? Person 2-P-U-L-M-O-N-A-R-Y E-M-B-O-L-I-S-M. Person 1- Thanks. Person 2- Your Welcome.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Did the single mother survive the plane crash? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops