Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

The grass is always greener on the side that uses manure and fertilizer daily.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

When is the best time to eat? When you feel like it.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Have you ever seen Ethiopian food? No, neither have Ethiopians.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A girl walks into a strip club, she was tired of her husband and wanted to see how it was actually done.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

"I think your a hoe" "Don't worry, I know I am!" "You wanna F*** me?" "Hell Ya!"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What can you never see in the light, but you can in the dark? A: Darkness.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A blind man walks into the girls bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's small, black,and crispy? A baby after an apartment fire

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

do you currently smoke? i hope not.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A drunk man is that last one inside a very popular bar. He passed out on the counter before he ordered a drink. The bartender is angry at a sale lost, which would have been his millionth sale before closing time on the 1000th day of business. He goes home and hangs himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Spanish Inquisition.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the young girl say to her step-dad? Nothing. She no longer talks to him after years and years of sexual abuse which left her emotionally scarred.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the kid say before he died Nothing he was terminally ill

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Here is an opposite. Black Santa Claus.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why didn't the cat eat its supper? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Bin Laden: dang, these pizza guys are so late, this pizza better be free! door: Ring ring ring.. Bin Laden: yes its finally here!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

so a mom is like so what you want hunny and the dad goes like you baby bahahahahaa get it?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why can't february march Because april may

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the blind orphan get for christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than hitting your funny bone on a chair............... Hearing one person say "its friday" then realizing that you are now singing

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops