What did the two doctors say to each other? We are both doctors.

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Me: Ask me if I'm an orange. You: Are you an orange? Me: No

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shauns beautiful

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What does Pontiac stand for? Nothing. Pontiac's were discontinued

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Doctor: Knock knock... Patient: Who's there? Doctor: Interrupting doctor... Patient: Interrupting doct-- Doctor: You have cancer.

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Several men are in a bar a tall white man named James orders a round of shots for all of the people they all have a fun time untill James gets into a car with Derrick who is not sober they drive right into a sick childrens hospital and cause many frantic wild fires throughout the town. They all end up in jail for an unrelated cause

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Actually it is,how may i help you?

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on a stool? Ask them kindly to do so. Their sexual orientation is of little to no importance in this situation.

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Q. How are a bird and a turtle alike? A. They both fly. Except the turtle.

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Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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What does a baby sound like being cooked in the microwave. I don't know I was to busy masterbating.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? because she was SHITFACED!!!!

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What did the Asian bookkeeper say to the Jewish dog? I love you

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I'm off to my tank guys!

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What's black and white and red all over A bloody penguin

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TOBUSCUS

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A dyslexic agnostic insomniac stays up at night wondering if there's a dog.

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Q: Who was the best Jewish cook? A: Hitler.

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why was the boy's face burnt? a horrible accident involving a lighter and some hairspray

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In Soviet Russia, the political system was very different than it is today.

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How old is george washington? anyway thats not the point your pregnant

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whats wors than getting hit by a car? getting raped by a giant scorpian

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops