What is makes you more happy to see than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed up as a clown.

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What's the difference between watermelon and baby? I don't eat watermelon.

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knock, knock. come in.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why couldn't the basketball player jump anymore? Because he broke his back.

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Penis

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What do homeless people get at Christmas? Cold.

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How do you make a Jew cry? You kill all of their friends and family members.

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a gay man walks into a bar the bartender says "what'll it be today" he asks for a beer the bartender comes back with a beer because thats what he asked for.

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What is sad about a kid dying in a bus accident? The other 20 survived

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What do you call a black woman that's blind and has 1 leg? Handicapped

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I see said the blind man to his def wife as the dog with no legs ran over

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Why did the soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin

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What's the difference between your cat and mine? Yours has legs.

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What do you get hanging from an apple tree? Sore Arms.

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There Are 2 People A lack Person And A White Person, The Black Person Looks Over At The White Person And Said, "Hi Tyrone!"

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A man walks into a pet store. He then says "This isn't the bar" and leaves.

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Q: Why did the boy go to the orphanage? A: His parents were dead.

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Two tomatoes walk across the street and manage to get over safely. COME ON MUSTARD!

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Why isn't Michael Jackson aloud at Disney world? He is dead.

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once upon a time there was a girl named katie. she walked across the road. she got hit by a truck. now she's in heaven. the end,.

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Why did samantha die? Because she had cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops