An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her repeatedly in the chest with a ball point pen

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Yo mamas so stupid that she has a condition called autism

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? To eat it of course

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Knock Knock Who's there? Reality, we have come to install a doorbell.

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why did the girl scream when she got her tooth pulled? Because it hurt her.

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Why Did the one handed man cross the road? To get to the dying man on the other side

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Roses are red Violets are blue NO SHIT EINSTEIN!

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Why do jews have long noses? Because they received the genetic alleles from their parents that cause the nose to grow longer.

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Did you know brown and green rhyme? Just not with each other.

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Dance is a sport

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why did the dog chase it's tail? it has a case of OCD where he was obsessed with catching his tail and would spin until he passed out or threw up.

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Mormons having fun.

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What do you call a black man with no education? An unfortunate outcome of our meritocratic society.

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Why do you always find a dead baby in the last place you look? Because once you've found it, you stop looking.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvatore Dali mistook them for clocks.

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What was the pirate movie rated? Pg-13

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rose's are red, bananas are yellow, yo mama's so fat she jiggles like jello

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69

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nipple

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If 32x=8600, find x. ^ | There it is!

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24

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What did the pornstar do after the film shoot? Called her parents and said she had a good day at work as a receptionist at a law firm. She is too ashamed to admit her real profession to them. She then cried profusely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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