Why did Martin have to retake his exams? Because Martin is a right royal Dumbass.

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How do you change you dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

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I had a date. She was a pegasister. Since MLP was magical, I disappeared.

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Why didn't Rebecca Black take the bus? Because she would have had a heart attack with all of the seat choices.

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Knock. Knock Who's there? Jim. Jim who? Jim your best friend.

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8================================================================================================D-------------------------------------------- It can coil!

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What did the catholic priest say to the naked boy where are your clothes?

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Knock, knock! Who's there? interupting little turtle interupting little tur... LITTLE TURTLE!

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i shouldnt be on this cause im in class

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Nero, please cut the bull, I know you work for the feds, you are involved with the FBI, I know, but its not my problem, I just do not like you lying to me.

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What is the difference between a girl and a woman? Age

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Chuck Norris doesn't shave.

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- kellen says to bill "your a fruit cake" - bill say to raj "your a gypsy" - raj says to kellen "you have gingevitis" R.I.P kellen 2012

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what is the difference between a banana and an orange? bread.

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Why do Chinese people have flat faces? Air bags.

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Every sixty seconds in Africa... a minute passes - plz like to save Africa!

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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A blonde walks into a store and tells the clerk "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes.". The blonde comes in the shop the next day with a brown wig on and says "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes". The blonde asks how he knew she was a blonde. The clerk replies, "I can see flyaway strands of your hair from the top of your wig and the synthetic hair material of the wig is not convincing.

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Three peasants were brought in front of the King to be rewarded for their assistance during a drought. The King told them that they could each request one thing from him that he could provide. The first man asked to be rich, so the King ordered his guards to fetch a large sack that was filled to the brim with gems and gold pieces. The man thanked the King and left his palace joyfully. The second man asked for a larger house so the King gave him access to one of his many castles. He hurriedly left, eager to try out his new home for size. The third man asked for a cat so the King gave him a cat.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her repeatedly in the chest with a ball point pen

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Yo mamas so stupid that she has a condition called autism

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Knock Knock Who's there? Reality, we have come to install a doorbell.

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? To eat it of course

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Roses are red Violets are blue NO SHIT EINSTEIN!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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