A bar walks into a man. The drink orders a bartender. And then the money walks home. End The.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Therefore no one knew why his name was Fuzzy Wuzzy.

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Why did the yeti make an omlette? To practise making omlettes.

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When life throws you knives, you're probably dead

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A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

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Why did the pineapple cry? It didn't, because it's a pineapple.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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"Do you live in the United States?", said the man. "no." said the other man, "cool beans", said the woman.

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What do you do when your internet goes down? You right click on the internet connection and try to fix the problem.

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Yo momma's so fat, she slipped into a diabetic coma.

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Most of these Anti-Jokes are Anti-Anti jokes, which makes them funny, if they were actually Anti-Jokes they wouldn't be funny at all.

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Q: What did the chinese guy say to his friend? A: ??

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Why did the woman not make her husband a sandwich? Because he died in 9/11

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What is a quicker way to transfer money than electronic banking? Keeping it on one's person and getting mugged for it, or else handing it over in a mutual deal.

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How do you trap a squirrel? You carefully set up a trap and place acorns in the trap.

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What is the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves

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Why doesn't Lucinda have a penis? Because she's Mexican.

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If an ear could talk what would it say? Probably nothing because it doesn't have a tongue...

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how do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? with a blender. how do you get them back out of the bowl? with tortila chips.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead

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What's 6 + 9? 15.

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Wanna Hear a joke.... Corey Jacobs is a FAT ASS

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What are vampires favorite drink? Vampires aren't real.

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tobi packs fudge+parkers gay-sami

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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