Sac

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Why did the blind man cross the road? To end the suffering of a lifetime illness.

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Come on, I am trying to cheer you up a bit, honestly how high?

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Poop swing

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Honestly though bud, are you wasted? XD

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Q: how do you stop a blonde woman from drowning? A: unplug the stopper in the bathtub Q: how do you stop a baby from drowning? A: take your foot off its head

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why did the puppy poop? he had too

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what did the blind deaf orphan get for christmas? cancer

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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How can you shed 10 pounds in one day? Get your legs amputed.

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What do you call four friends spending a wild night in Las Vegas that they can't rember the next day? A rip off of the Hangover

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Who were the fastest readers of all time? The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

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A man walks into a bar. The bar is closed and the man is a thief. The police are promptly called in fear that the situation may become increasingly dangerous.

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Like why period? Why can't mother nature just call and be like ''Wassup girl? You're not pregnant, I'll talk to you next month.''

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why was Sally crying? Because she had a frog stapled to her face.

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What's black and hanging on a tree in my backyard? Blackberries.

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Chuck Norris didn't count to infinite twice. He can't even do it once.

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What do you call it when you kill a Jewish homosexual? Murder.

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What's red and smells like paint? Red paint.

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What do you do when a hispanic man takes your wallet? Ask him to please give the wallet back to you

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What did the fish say when it hit a wall? Nothing. Fish cannot talk.

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Where's Waldo? It is impractical to search for him because he's just going to get lost on another page once you find him. You assume he was murdered and get on with your life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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