What did the cow say to his friend? Moo.

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Got no dick? Then you're probably a girl.

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What do you call an Oliver with friends? A dream

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guess what my nephew said today? oh ya i forgot, hes dead..

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Why did Justin Beiber fall out of a plane? Because i pushed him off

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Why don't elephants eat bananas? Because they don't have opposable thumbs.

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whats worse than 911 nothing you cant beat 911that sucked

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Brians mother always told him to reach for the stars. He died the next morning.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I kill children dont worry about it

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Why did the black man begin to cry when his friend aimed a gun at a watermelon? Because if he were to shoot it would be a waste of perfectly good food.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The POLICE, now open the god damn door!

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Five Mexicans were driving down the motorway in a Ford. Must've been a Fiesta.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I don't know, i was wondering if you knew.

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Adam Claypool walks into a bar. He immediately sucks the bartender's dick because he is the biggest queer anyone has ever seen

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What was the Latino man doing on my laptop? He was my friend and he had asked me first. He was also ordering a computer on amazon for himself.

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What do call a limbless man swimming? Dead.

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Person 1: Why do eskimos wash their clothes in tide? Person 2: It works very well.

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Hehe and Haha are best friends. One day, Haha died. What did Hehe do? He said "Haha! you died!"

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What did the mute girl say to the other mute girl?

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Why does Jeremy Kyle love his job? Because he gets to make idiots look like bigger idiots.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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What did Mr. Pazdzioch and Mr. Hahn and Mr. Fishers big ass do for fun? Ate Mr. Kilgores shit at shin-go-beek jamboree.

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A cat jumped out of a tree. It died.

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An apple a day keeps a check next to the "I ate an apple today" box on my "what I did today" daily checklist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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