Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How did my grand parents go about surviving the holocaust? Well, for starters, they weren't Jewish, they never lived in Germany, and to be honest, my grandparents probably would have supported the Nazi's because they are right wing pricks

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why didn't little johnny show up to school on friday? little johnny died two months ago from cancer. he hasn't been to school in a year.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Brunette a ginger and a blonde were getting their hair done? WHich side of the bus did they sit on? Why did i put a question mark on the first part?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's sad about 5 black men falling off a cliff? The master has no slaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Three black men get out of a taxy. They split the bill evenly and get on with their day... By Wade

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock, Knock. Who's there? No reply cause Kyle got knocked out by the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Who would win in a chess duel between Ender Wiggin and Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl will calculate the optimal path to move his pieces. Ender Wiggin will calculate the optimal path to kill the queen, so all the other pieces just sort of fall down.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

knock knock who's there a tiger Alex proceeds to walk away as there is a tiger at his front door. he then calls the police because of the potential danger. the animal control then apprehends the animal and takes it to an enclosure

thumb_up thumb_down +3

h

thumb_up thumb_down +3

My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than a dead baby? The corpse is chopped into little pieces And is put in a blender. Worse than that? An alive baby stuffed into a blender. Worse than that? Hellen Keller put into a blender. Worse than that? The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A: what does hellen keller say to her mom? B: nothing. she cant speak due to her lack of hearing and visualizing

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a girl who was knocked off a swing by a fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

a man gets raped. -teagan doherty-

thumb_up thumb_down +3

On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me nothing because I'm single

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Why did the boy go to the orphanage? A: His parents were dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Spotto

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the mentally challenged man enter the bar? He's tired of being subject hate and criticism. He hates being the subject of jokes and being pointed at. He may not be able to tell you what 3x6 is, but he still has feelings. So because of all these inconsiderate people judging him, he now spends his days at the local bar, drowning his sorrows away in alcohol. I hope your happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops