Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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What did the amputee get for Christmas? Shot.

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What's big, black and hard to swallow? A bowling ball.

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What were Benjamin Franklin's first words after he died? It's been 225 years and we still don't know yet.

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Why did the banana go to the hospital? It didnt, bananas cannot speak or walk. It is a simple fact so you should know.

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What is the unltimate Jewish dilemma? Free pork

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What do you call a person who is 6 feet under? Lost.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Doorbell repairman. ym

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What did the boy do when he struck out in his little league game? He was very upset and contemplated not playing the game anymore.

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What is blue and angry? Mr Johnston wearing his green dress. I'm colour blind but he came round to my way of thinking in the end.

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how do you fix a family? Someone gives in

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A girl talks to her boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

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Q.whats the differecne between a bicycle? A. orange,...a vest dont got no sleeves.

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Q: "How does a monkey hide in a jungle?", A:"Paint its balls red and sit in a cherry tree" , Q:"What is the loudest noise in the jungle?", A: "A native picking cherries"

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Why was the baby crying? Because a tree fell on its legs.

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It's easy to take part, just type your text below! no

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Your mum is so overweight, she is at risk of heart disease, I highly recommend she visits her GP.

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What did the Asian man do when he got lost in the desert? He ate his arms.

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why did the iraqi woman bury her wedding ring in the ground? because it's the only way she could properly pay respect to the death of her husband who recently died in a group suicide bombing.

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What happened to the man who posted yet another repeated joke on anti joke? Nothing. He posted an old joke that everyone has seen a form of already.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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Why are females bad drivers? Because it is hard to drive with pots and pans.

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Why did the fish swim away from the boat when the fishermen put him back in the water? Because he obviously wasn't gonna get back in the boat.

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My mom always said it was fun to jump into a pile of leaves... That was before she was devoured by a 10 ft. scorpion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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