whats worse than getting no gifts for christmas? getting hit by a bus for christmas

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Yo momma so fat, she died.

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Emergency call: - Please help, my little son swallowed a condom! 5 minutes later - It is ok, I found another one.

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Ask me if my name is Jennifer. Is your name Jennifer? No.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. She's already been told twice.

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how do you scare a mexican? You dress up as a bar of soap.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it most likely saw a shiny object and wanted to play with it. Luckily there was no cars passing at the time but the parents should be more careful to keep thier child in sight and away from peril. That and the baby found a small piece of glass that could be harmful to it....

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Man: Are you tired Woman: No why? Man: You have bags under your eyes and you just yawned a minute ago

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Cheese stick

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knock knock who's there? be. be who? *hits you with a batterang. BECAUSE ITS BATMAN

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What word is ten letters long and starts with gas? Gastronomy.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? An Xbox 360.

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Hi

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Roses are red Violets are orange Thats odd, my violets are somehow orange

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your mommas so fat because she has diabetes

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what did johnny's mom do for his 50th birthday? she died

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Best joke: Okay so I got a joke for ya but it is pretty long so bare with me please. First off, you must have heard a knock knock joke before and you must have a huge sense of humor. So this guy walks into a bar and orders fried chicken wings with hot fudge and vinilla drizzled all over it with a cherry topping. The bartender says, "We don't have that." The guy thinks of anything else he'd like and says, "How about a bucket of turkey and jalapeños?" The bartender looks puzzled and once again says, "This is a bar..." The guy is now paranoid and says, "Fine, I'll just have a thick, juicy, chicken thigh but please remove any excess skin on it, it's unhealthy and I'm on a diet." The bartender slowly removes his apron and walks out of the bar shouting, "I QUIT!" The guy sits there on the barstool laughing as a lady bartender comes to him. "So sorry sir, what would you like? From our bar that we have available?" The guy stares at her, squinting. "By any chance do you know if you have the punch line to this 'joke' because I sure dont." Slowly the woman removes her apron and walks out of the bar. The guy grins, walks out, and says, "job well done today. Where to tomorrow?"

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How can you tell if someones gay? You ask them.

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So there are two kids in bumper cars at the local fair. A nuke was set off underground and most of the metropolitan was annihilated.

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what do you think when you see someone throw a man with no arms and legs into the ocean? chances of survival are minimal

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Greg told a joke. It wasnt funny...

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The third one is for you

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How do you make people run? When someone is behind you, hold the door open and wait.

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"Have you ever seen a blacksmith?" "No." "Me neither."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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