What do you call a hot underaged girl. off limits i am her father.

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Chuck Norris didn't count to infinite twice. He can't even do it once.

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What do you call it when you kill a Jewish homosexual? Murder.

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What's red and smells like paint? Red paint.

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A man walks into a bar. The bar is closed and the man is a thief. The police are promptly called in fear that the situation may become increasingly dangerous.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Like why period? Why can't mother nature just call and be like ''Wassup girl? You're not pregnant, I'll talk to you next month.''

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What's black and hanging on a tree in my backyard? Blackberries.

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What's worse than people reposting the same joke all the time? The holocaust.

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Once upon a time, I was a Muslim.

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What did the kid say to the ginger? You're gay.

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TWIX PAUSE!

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What do you call a bus filled with White, Chinese, and Black people? Public transportation.

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What do you get if you cross a Kangaroo and a Sheep? They are too entirely different species and cannot be crossbred.

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What do you call a mexican doing drugs? An average pablo

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Yo mama's so fat that when she stepped on a scale, she saw her ex-boyfrien's phone number!

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Me: Why are red onions actually purple..? Dad: I don't know Sister: *sarcastic* Well, Why is it rainy in London? Me: ....Because that's the weather pattern.

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Where's Waldo? It is impractical to search for him because he's just going to get lost on another page once you find him. You assume he was murdered and get on with your life.

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What do you do when a hispanic man takes your wallet? Ask him to please give the wallet back to you

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I hate all races.. Especially the 400 meter sprint

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What did the fish say when it hit a wall? Nothing. Fish cannot talk.

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Billy Cundiff.

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A guy walks into a bar what does he say? OW.

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why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a date-rapist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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