So a mama tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato were all walking down the street. The baby tomato was falling behind its parents. So the daddy tomato goes back, squishes the baby tomato and yells ketchup!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What does 2 + 2 equal? 4

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Someone made a Titanic joke to me today, It was just plane wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between a duck? One of it's feet are both yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was Chris crying? There was a robbery at his house and both of his parents were brutally murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why does column have a letter n?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A giant foot comes over the town and a man says "theres something big afoot" hahahahahahaha

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the mother tell her son to get a job. She was tired of buying Generic brand food.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call somebody from Manchester? A twat

thumb_up thumb_down -10

black guy graduating high school

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? No. Well neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Spanish Inquisition.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I have a black man in my family tree... He's still hanging there.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people, and are a nation and ethnoreligious group originating in the Israelites or Hebrews of the Ancient Near East. A pizza on the other hand is an Italian dish made up of cheese, bread sauces and multiple toppings.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the black man say "I been done did that?" He was speaking ebonics.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why does a Jew, a catholic, and a buddhist eat pizza? because they like the way it tastes.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

ahhh finally removed the splinter I've had for quite some time now. Hopefully that was the last one I'll get for a while...touch wood

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Fine, just remember that I want to help you, but you cannot ask me for help, and then throw a shitstorm of accusations at me, I have never worked for the feds and never will, I know nothing about their code of operations nor... Anything really. Let me give you an advice, I know that at least two people you trusted deeply betrayed you, but if you are not going to trust anyone again, then leave point zero while you still can do so alive. And no babe, this is not a threat, its advice.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz 7 8 9

thumb_up thumb_down -12

There were once three bears who lived in a cottage in the forest. They left to go to the market one day. While they were gone a blonde girl walked into their cabin. Meanwhile at the market, everyone was freaking out that there were bears there.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

DESERT

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Billy and Jeff wanted to go on an adventure so they planned a safari in Africa. Everything was going as planned until they were in a sticky situation: whether to cross a narrow bridge above the crocodiles or not. Billy tells Jeff "Hey whats the worst thing that can happen?" Jeff was diagnosed with cancer and died the next morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops