A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it. "I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

a bald man walks into a hairdressers and demands beans on toast.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: What is worse than The Apocalypse? A: Darkseid, Thanathos, Red Hulk, Onslaught, come on The Apocalypse cant even beat the X-men! Moral: "I AM THE APOCALYPSE, YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE!"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Sticks and stones can break my bones Well maybe you shouldn't play in the tree anymore

thumb_up thumb_down -14

how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why couldn't the mexican get a job? He was seven.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf which impairs the ability to register sights and sounds necessary to operate an automobile.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

you

thumb_up thumb_down -14

your momma is so dumb.. ... because she was a slacker in high school but then turned her life around and is now a respected member of society

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is the square-root of pi? ?pi

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q:How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She didn't, she sought help and was able to live a very happy life with a beautiful family in a nice suburb outside of Cincinnati.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

"Do you live in the United States?", said the man. "no." said the other man, "cool beans", said the woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the lights turn off? Because I turned them off.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse than the holocaust. I'm a Nazi so the holocaust wasn't actually that bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

OHIO DRIVERS.......THAT IS ALL......

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what do you get when you cross an African with a Rhinoceros? A rhinoceros.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is worse then not being able to drink your vodka right away A black guy drinking for you

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the teenage girl text her friend while driving? It doesn't matter, she's dead now. Don't text and drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

balls

thumb_up thumb_down -16

penis

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Two gays walk into a bar, they are then kicked out by the homophobic owner.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A black man, a Mexican man and a white man walk into a bank. The black man reaches into his bag and pulls out his bank card, the Mexican and the the white man do the same as they need to withdraw money.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops