Violets are Blue, Roses are Red, skip the bull$%!#, and give me head

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because he didn't have a face

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A treadmill... did I mention he was kinda fat?

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Roses are Black. Violets are Green. im going to go cut myself now

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What is white and stands in the corner? A refridgerator who has been very bad...

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound? I don't know... Does the deaf woman locked in my basement?

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What do you call a black priest? Someone devoted to the word of god

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Why was 2 afraid of 3? Because 345!!!!!

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What's the square root of 6739472? Who gives a f***?

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What's worse than waking up with cancer? Waking up dead.

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Do you ride the bus to school or do you take your lunch?

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When I walk in the rain, I get wet

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cook Pu. Ok then. Kelvin Yang.

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Three aliens land in the middle of New York City. There is a huge media story about the first extraterrestrial life to be discovered on Earth.

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Miranda Cosgrove's singing career. ......Thats it. Thats the joke.

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime lying in a pool of blood.

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why did sally fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock? who's there? not sally.

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What do you get when you cross a canary and a lawnmower? Nothing. A canary is a small bird, and a lawnmower is an inanimate object. Any procreation of this sort would likely produce no offspring.

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A three and a half foot tall clown walks into a bar, it is quickly learned that he is only 8 years old and is excorted out by security.

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What did the heart attack victim say? Call 911, I'm having chest pains. yeah, your anti-jokes are this funny....

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Holy crap, the garden's on fire.

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How many dead babes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? its not possible because there all dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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