Get out of the way everybody, a group of elephants are tumbling down the mountain!

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New groundbreaking research has just revealed today that a complex sentence can be used to manipulate the human mind, so in this sentence somewhere is a psychological amemphism that subconsciously hypnotises the mind into doing something within the next five seconds, and if you read this sentence over and over again, you might just spot it!

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What do you call a fish with no fins? Dead.

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Why did the polar bear cross the road? He didn't, there are no roads in Antarctica.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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How do you blind a Chinese man You put a blind fold on him

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What's poor and lives in Newry city council dump? Smelly mcD

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What's the difference between an orange? A bycicle you fool, a vest doens't have sleeves

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Q:how do confuse courtney A: give her a beer

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Hey, you pee here? Yes, it's called a urinal

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bipolar NO I'M NOT!!

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What did the hobo find on the ground? A dirty nipple. ~Logan F.

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What do you call a kid on crutches? Crippled

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Q: What is Fftp poort grtz gruxxyw? A: DYSLEXIA!

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A hemophiliac walks into a bar. Then he dies of internal bleeding.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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whats black and has many friends? a kind sociable black person

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Why did the pineapple cry? It didn't, because it's a pineapple.

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Ju... Just why?

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This is an anti joke. Please make it the bestest and most well likeded one on this site.

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What does a Jew do when he finds money on the street? He picks it up and is probably happy it was there.

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What do you call a woman with a black eye and several cuts on her face? The police and perhaps a social help hotline. She now feels safer and more secure and will go on to lead a happy life thanks to you speaking out on her behalf.

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when chuck norris plays call of duty, his only perk is ghost pro.

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did u hear the one about helen keler neather did she

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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