how do you kill a blonde? shoot her in the face with a pistol

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why isn't Michael Jackson aloud at Disney world? He is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Blue fish occasionally consume large amopunts of the insides of oak trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What Can't You See and Stinks A Fart.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why are rich guys gay? They can afford to be

thumb_up thumb_down +6

-Knock Knock -Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's black and blue and hates anal? The twelve year old in my trunk

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you wake up your friend in a reasonable manor? you beat the shit out of him

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If you rape a prostitute is it shop lifting?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red Violets are blue Charcoal is black So is my neighbor

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is funny and has three legs? Not the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's faster than a black man with a TV? Light.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

no, ten dead babies nailed to ten dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Three moose were in the middle of the road. They were then shot by a maniac hunter.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the banana go to the hospital? It didnt, bananas cannot speak or walk. It is a simple fact so you should know.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why are females bad drivers? Because it is hard to drive with pots and pans.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How can you tell that your friend just had sex with a blonde? The girl he just had sex with has blonde hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Little Johnny was always bullied at school. Everyday he would get picked on by the same kid, Todd. Todd was a red-headed bully with no discipline. Johnny one day went home and started crying. His father asked the little boy, "Jonny why are you crying?" John replied, "I keep getting bullied". His father stood up and told him, "You must become a big man and step up to him and tell him how you feel. It will surprise him and he will then back off. It always works." Johnny then felt inspired. Later that night he started practicing what he will say in the mirror. By the next morning he felt like he was ready. Johnny was confident about himself for once. He walked up to Todd and told him, "I'm tired of your bullying and next time you will regret it!!". Todd looked surprised and had his jaw opened. Todd then said, "I'm sorry Johnny I didn't know you felt that way." Johnny looked confused. "Here come with me and I'll buy us ice cream". When they went to go get ice cream, Todd brutally stabbed Johnny until he was losing blood and repeatedly raped his dead body.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into work and massacres 20 due to a mental illness.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why can't George Washington drive? Because he died!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock. Who's there? Not Heath Ledger.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops