I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump!

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what do you call dominic rolling down a hill?

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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what is yellow and cant swim? a bull doser what has 4 wheels and is green? grass, i lied about the wheels what is worse than finding a worm in ur apple? having cancer

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Q:Why did the cop arrest the black guy with a gun? A: because he shot a family and when the funeral was held he cooked a grenade killed everyone and peed on there grave, later he rapped two dogs and stabbed a crippled then tea bagged a horse to death.

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What did the podiatrist say to the proctologist? That athletes foot fungus is clearing up nicely.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he had uncontrollable muscle spasms.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Two black men are sitting next to each other on a bench when a woman walks by. The first man says "Damn, that's a nice pair of tits!". The second man said "Yes, she does posses a supple and voluptuous bosom." The cat that was sitting underneath the bench then began cleaning himself.

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alston wang

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A black man, an arabic man, and a hispanic man are all in a car, who is driving? The black man.

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What has 3 legs? An abnormal human.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he's stupid.

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Q: Why does an elephant have flat feet? A: From jumping out of trees

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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Whats Yellow and has arms. A lemon i lied about the arms.

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The Game.

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Why is Islam the fastest growing religion? Because black people breed like rats.

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WHY DID THE WHITE MAN TALK TO THE BLACK MAN TO LIGHTEN HIM UP

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What's worse than eating cows. Death

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse, thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly defecates on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few chairs and tables.

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Why did the little girl die Because she was kidnapped by a rapist, and defiled repeatedly, and then to get a ransom from her family the kidnapper slowly pulled out her fingernails and toenails, and sent them to the family the same thing happened with her fingers, toes, hands, feet, arms, legs, teeth, tounge, hair, and eyes, then she died of blood loss after nearly 2 months of torture.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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