If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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A man walked into a bar because he worked there.

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What do you call a ostrich with no legs? Damn, that's funny.

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Why did the man not want to be a tree? Because he didn't want to.

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why did helen cellars dog runway. you would to if ur name was ujujujujjujujujujujj

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what did the black guy say to his pregnant wife? im very excited to see our newborn child.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra!

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There is a high speed police pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns to the other and says "Moo".

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why was the man gay? Because its not a choice. its a lifestyle.

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What smells like peanut butter but looks like a penis? A penis, I lied about the peanut butter.

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What did the scientist call a spider? An arachnid.

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Your mom is fat

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? words

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What's Mary short for? She's got no legs.

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How do you make a Russian baby cry? Punch it in the face

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Why did the dude fall into a box? Because he was hit by a bus.

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a Black Swan walks into a bar......,,,.she then has hallucinations and imagines herself having lesbian sex with Mila Kunis...

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Can Geico save save you 50% on your car insurance? Does a former drill sergent make a terrible therapist?

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Bushes are Red, Trees are Red... my garden is on fire...

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What do you get when you cross a horse and a donkey? a mule

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What's the most common pickup line in a gay bar? "Hi, may I buy you a drink?"

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What's the best way to look 10 pounds thinner? Lose 10 pounds

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Yo mamma's so fat, at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that if she did not attempt to control her weight gain through a careful moderation of her diet and began exercising on a regular basis, that her obesity would soon manifest itself in a variety of chronic health conditions that would permanently alter her ability to enjoy life and could significantly decrease her lifespan.

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Whats worse than an oompa loompa a black midget

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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