- Anti Joke

Why did the black man die? He was shot

Why does jim never go to McDonalds? his wife got shot there.

A man hits a woman while driving. Whose fault is it? The mas. He was out drinking that night and shouldn't have gotten in his car in the first place.

Why was the accountant sad? He just watched his wife have consensual sex with another man.

What did the cat say to the elephant? Meow.

What do you call someone who kills black people? A hero.

Q: What is, in full, Donald Trump's speech to the Republican National Convention? A: This. I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! Trump tromp troomp trimp treemp tramp trump trump trump!

Knock knock Who's there? Your neighbor. I just ran over your cat.

What's black and white and red all over it? Not a newspaper because red is not all over it. Answers to this question may vary.

What's spotty, can be found everywhere and is largely unpopular? Nothing.

Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: He was in one tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over to warn everybody in the other tower and while he was in the other tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on that park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich...not too much mayo...just the way he likes it.)

Who makes the sandwiches in a lesbian relationship?

What did Jim say to Bob? Hi Bob.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

3 men were involved in a terrible plane crash. The first man got up, and all he could see was blue. Blue houses, blue cars, blue people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see blue. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops, then left in his blue world. The second man got up and all he could see was red. Red houses, red cars, red people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see red. He went down stairs and ate cherrieos, then left in his red world. The last man got up, and all he could see was yellow, yellow cars, yellow houses, and yellow poeple. Yet again he walked to a house, and the kind people let him stay the night. Once he woke up, he only could see yellow still. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops and left into his yellow world. So this proves that 2 out of 3 men prefer fruit loops over cherrieos.

Why was the first name of the boy 'Price'? His parents were Hamsters.

What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot.

Joanna walks up to a random house, knocks on the door,"Is this where the party's at?!"

Roses are red Bacon is too Rhyming is hard bacon

Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb and the doctor was surprised

Why was Sally crying She got a high five In the face With a chair

Why was the man sweating? He was stuck in a burning house.

A white guy, a black guy, and a spanish guy jump off a building. They all die on impact and their families mourn their loss for years to come.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops