- Anti Joke

What's the difference between a duck and a belt? One floats in water and I don't remember the rest but you are a whore.

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

-5

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well that, my friend, is a good question.

-5

http://www.google.com/imgres?q=harry+styles+stupid&start=148&hl=en&safe=active&sa=X&biw=1022&bih=539&tbm=isch&prmd=imvnso&tbnid=L4yN-90F2S2nXM:&imgrefurl=http://www.britishbeautyblogger.com/2012/05/justin-bieber-nails.html&docid=yYdBShdYVODKdM&imgurl=http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-YFyj_mKUypY/T6VP6iGQeCI/AAAAAAAAJjI/y6cpVYjn9Gs/s1600/harry.PNG&w=573&h=413&ei=ZY7HT_XqHo2c8QStiY2IDw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=724&vpy=140&dur=435&hovh=191&hovw=265&tx=75&ty=135&sig=110416686013590693091&page=12&tbnh=148&tbnw=229&ndsp=13&ved=1t:429,r:7,s:148,i:142

-5

What do you do when a man in a corner offers you candy? You walk away.

-5

SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

-5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What's the difference between a duck and a belt? One floats in water and I don't remember the rest but you are a whore.

Why can't Bob go to the store? He's dead.

why was the boy laying on the ground? he got shot in the head

Guess what my grandma told me yesterday.. Nothing she's dead.

"I like my women like I like my coffee, in a cup." -Paul Alangadan

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

Why did the chicken cross the road? because he was hungry and mcdonalds was across the street

Q. What do you get when a banana and a person mate? A. The banana suffocates

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Good friends enjoying a summer activity.

Knock knock? Who's there? A Jehovah's Witness. Oh. Knock knock? Who's there? Not me!

What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

Miranda Cosgrove's singing career. ......Thats it. Thats the joke.

What do you do when jews take over your country? Invade Poland.

Dr Dr I think I have diarrhea You have irritable bowel syndrome, I recommend IBS support

why did the one handed man cross the road? to get to the secondhand shop.

I saw a shovel once.

Women's rights.

What do you call a middle-aged man at a preschool? A teacher.

The Tiarajudens is a Permian land-walrus.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well that, my friend, is a good question.

What do you do when a man in a corner offers you candy? You walk away.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??