A man walked into a bar because he worked there.

Why is Billy in a ditch? He stepped on a landmine and was promptly burst into many pieces. The ditch was coincidental.

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

If there's a clown in a blender, how do you get him out? Tostitos.

What's Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin' with his family

What do you get when you mix Catholicism and Islam? War

A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

What did the African do when he found out he was constipated? He ate a laxative and went to the toilet

Why did a Monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

Can Geico save save you 50% on your car insurance? Does a former drill sergent make a terrible therapist?

What did the african american ninja say to the jewish bartender? Can I have a beer?

Two men walk in to a bar, one buys a beer. The second receives a phone call and leaves.

"Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimer's. "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimer's. "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimer's.

A Jew walks into a bar. He quickly works on treating the injuries he had received from hitting his head against the bar when he had walked into it.

Q: What time do you see a Chinese dentist? A: Never because China has a flawed healthcare system due to overpopulation. It is a sad and sobering reality of the plight of the Chinese citizens.

what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

Think about it: Is mexico REALLY full of: Lowrides in candy ass sparkly colors such as lip red that bounce, (manly color right? Yeah sure baggot) which contains a whole street war gang of members inside and at least twenty tons of COCAINA! ...But does not have a horn that plays "la cucaracha" Seriously, you say yes right? Hey look at this guy he said yes everybody, but ITS WROOOOOOONG CUCARACHA OR GTFO OF MEXICO! Yeah... Because Mexico is shit, id would be racist if Mexicans didn't agree...

Why was the man late for work? Because he slept in.

How do you kill a blonde? By inactivating major functions in the body, for example cutting off the blood supply to the brain.

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

Did you hear about the couple that met in a revolving door? They died.

whats worse than getting the girl you're talking to taken from you? getting the girl you like taken from you.. by a asian.

What did the hooker say to her employer after 1 hour....you owe my $20

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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