A duck walks into a bar and the bartender says"What do u want?" The ducks replays "EVERY DAY IM SHUFFLING!!!" The bartender slaps the duck in its face and quid his job. The bar has a hard time finding a replacement and his business dies. THE END

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did one hipster say to the other hipster? I'm not a hipster.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Wanna hear a funny joke? I can't think of one at the moment...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs. Why couldn't she see? The sun was in her eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What are pirate movies rated ? P.g 13 for violence and coarse language.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the black man buy a watermelon? To eat it of course

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's drivers license had been revoked for all of it's DWI's.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What has legs but can't walk? A paralyzed man.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whys it so cold? Nuclear winter.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What has wheels and flies? A wheel that I have altered so it can fly

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is worse than 20 babies stapled to trees? 1 baby stapled to 20 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Boy: If you didn't have feet, would you wear socks? Girl: No. Boy: Then why do you wear a bra?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats worse than a little kid falling. Him getting vigorously raped by his father every night.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the Muslim say to the Sikh? "Hello. Lovely weather today."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies? My wife didn't cheat on me in a pile of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *smiles* Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust ascending from hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q. did u see Stevie wonders new house A. no me. neither did he

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the 4 year old black kid ask his father for Christmas? A yo-yo. nah im just kidding he doesnt know who his father is.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

i can't stand cripple jokes

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A woman is home washing her dishes when she suddenly slips banging her head on a cabinet. She passed out for a few seconds, then woke to find a great gash on her left cheek, fairly spurting blood. At the emergency room, the doctor asks, "How did this happen?" The woman replied, "My boy friend tried to drown me."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the best thing about twenty six year olds? There are 20 of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops