Let's not pick mushrooms in heaven.

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a train

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Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack addiction. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And is then a homeless broke man who does not even have 4 quarters to his name.

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Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head

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10 people walk into a bar. 6 hours later, 3 more people walk into the bar. There are now 12 people in the bar, and one corpse in the dumpster out back.

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I met an Asian man in Beijing, and he had very small feet. You know why? He was a midget.

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Why did the police officer arrest Maxwell? Because he's black.

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Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they are all dead.

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Why did moral man run out of morals? Moral: LEAVE MORAL MAN ALONE! BUAHAHAHA LEAVE HIM ALONE! BUAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!

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why are you adopted? cause no one loved you.

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Jersey Shore

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A man walks into a crowded bar and orders a beer. The bartender doesn't hear him due to the background noise of everyone talking and the man has to repeat his order.

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What did the famed say when he lost his tractor I lost my tractor!!!!

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how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop!? thats what she said

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guess what my nephew said today? oh ya i forgot, hes dead..

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Why did the girl scream? Someone shot her mom

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How did the snail travel around the world without any help from a transportation device? Sadly, it didn't. The snail is incapable of this kind of long distance travel due to it's small size, lack of speed and short lifespan.

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What did the orphan wish for Christmas during world war II? Parents What did he get? Bombed.

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What's worse then 10 babies nailed to one tree? Nailed to 10 trees

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Unless you yourself put you trough that pain and misery, you have no reason to dislike or flee from who you are.

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If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, a poor african child probably has nothing and is starving to death while you and Chuck debate on how to spend your five dollars.

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Why did the fat man go to America? Because he was excited to get of work for vacation.

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Why do all the Republicans hate Obama? He's a Democrat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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