What's black and white and red all over? Colors

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Knock Knock Who's There? It's Me. Oh, OK. Come On In.

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Yo momma so lazy she hasn't been to work in weeks and you no longer have electricity or food.

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No, I do not have the will, I have a family now, I make a living writing fiction, and well, play a small role in keeping not national, but worldwide stability in such things as the economics. The thing is, that you are renegades, you do not break the law, but you like to do things your own way, that gets you enemies among the so called "paragons" in the face of society and media. Its just like back in the days, if CIA, The Feds, Interpol and such are known as the "Paragons of civilization" or "the good guys" if you prefer, they can point towards you guys, and say "these are evil", and then nothing can stop them.

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What do you call a guy who has no experience flying a plane? Suicidal

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound? I don't know... Does the deaf woman locked in my basement?

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The Mexican word of the day is JUICY. Tell me if juicy see the cops.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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"I can sell this watch for $500 dollars on the black market!" Well, you could sell your liver for $500 dollars on the black market too.

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My bologna has a first name It's O-S-C-A-R... My bologna has a second name It's M-A-Y-E-R... Oscar and Mayer were the names of the pig and the cow that were slaughtered and subsequently processed into the bologna I am eating.

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Roses are red, Violet are violet, not blue, dumbass.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you've been denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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What do you call a black man forcing two young girls into his car with a gun? A Police Officer.

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why did the cow eat the seahorse/ because my shift keys are broken1

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heads up!

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Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

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Why didn't the restaurant serve the black man? He hadn't ordered anything.

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A blind guy walks into a bar because he can't see.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as he wants to.

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What do you say when the cheese isn't yours? The cheese does not belong to me.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Watching your house burn down and your family scream in pain as their flesh burns and you suffer from chronic depression.

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Whats funny about the Holocaust? Absolutely nothing considering millions of people perished and you people think its funny!

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What did the fat gypsy say to the attractive young woman aged twenty-five? I know you are probably not remotely interested in having sex with me, but I'm afraid that you have no choice due to the fact that I've locked all of the doors.

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"KNOCK KNOCK". I opened the door to greet my guests for the party.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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