Once there was a rich man who lived in a castle on a hill. One fine morning who awoke and decided to go downstairs to make a cup of tea. As he switched on the kettle, he realised he had no tea bags, and so, went to the local shops to buy some – but when he arrived back, his magnificent castle had been burnt down to the ground. The man, obviously shocked, looked around in hope for some evidence as to who would commit this awful crime, but he saw nothing, apart from a little green man running off into the distance. The man calls insurance and they give him a mansion. One morning in the man’s fine mansion, he decided he wanted a nice cup of tea, so went downstairs, discovered he had no teabags, went to the shop to purchase some and came back to find his mansion was no more than a pile of ash. Once again he looked around and saw nothing other than a little green man running off into the distance. The man calls insurance for a second time and they give him a normal house. One morning in the man’s normal house, he feels the need for a cup of tea. But has no teabags, he goes to the shop to get some and comes back to find his normal house has burnt down. In the distance a little green man is running away. Insurance give the man a small cottage. And one morning in this small cottage, the man goes downstairs to make a cup of tea, but once again he has no teabags. Off to the shops he went to buy some but discovered, as he approached his cottage on the way home, that it had been burnt down. He looked around to see the now familiar sight of a little green man running off into the distance. Insurance give him a caravan. One morning in the caravan, the man discovers, while attempting to make a cup of tea, that he has no teabags. So, naively, he goes to the shop to get some and comes back to his caravan to find it burnt down. He looked up and saw a little green man running off into the distance. The now annoyed insurance company give the man a tent. One sunny morning in the man’s tent - he feels the need for tea, but has no teabags; he goes to the shop to buy some and arrives back at his tent to find a little green man holding a can of gasoline and some matches. The man asks: “are you the one who has been burning down all my houses?” And the little green man replies: “No.”

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A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. A farmers walks by underneath, and the squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because squirrels can't talk and neither can owls. Then the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

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What did the cowboy say to the skunk? You smell.

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justin beiber has a penis hahahahahahhaah lol not really

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I walked a few Km from home.. Something stops me in my tracks, there lies A LIE!

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Mirror mirror on the wall. Why can't I see?

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What do you call a group of black people? A group, you racist.

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Mitt Romney.

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What did the little girl who lost her baby teeth want for Christmas? A pony.

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What did Uncle Timmy give to Little John for his birthday? Sodomy.

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What did the the boy get from his grandma for Christmas. Nothing. she died a week ago.

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why is 6 afraid of 7? because 6 is a capitalist and 7 is a communist

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THAT MAN EATS TOO MUCH. therefore he is overweight.

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Ham sandwich

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Robin, get in the batmobile.

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If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, its probably a turtle.

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A white guy, a black guy, an Indian guy, and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. They drink in moderation and discuss their children, the current state of the economy, and global politics before retiring home to their families.

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When's the best time to go to the dentist? There is no best time, it is based on personal opinion and depending whether or not you have a conflicting schedule

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Knock Knock! Who's there? John Simons. This joke lacks a punchline. Yes, yes it does.

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How did the mexicans get to the United States of America? By plane.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. So was my son after I beat him to death.

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Roses are yellow Violets are also yellow Please don't stereotype again

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So, why is winter so terrible? Because, Napoleon was stopped by winter and we aren't all French.

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A woman walks out of the kitchen, she gets slapped by her sexist husband.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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