When a suicide-bomber when to heaven what did Allah give him apart from 72 virgins? 72 mothers in law.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Michal j. fox has Parkinsons disease. He is tired of losing at jenga

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How long does it take a black woman to take a shit? Why in the world would you want to know something like that? But anyway, the answer is somewhere, on average, between 10 seconds and 15 minutes. It really varies and conditions like irritable bowel syndrome and constipation affect this range. Actually it takes about 9 months.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Irrelevant. The road is no place for chickens.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What did the alcoholic get for his Birthday?\ A: A Jail Sentence

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how do you find will smith in the snow? with rescue dogs

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock Knock. Who's there? The IRS. You didn't pay your taxes so we have to take you to jail.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jelly is a clear or translucent fruit spread made from sweetened fruit juice, and set using naturally occurring pectin. Jam contains both fruit juice and pieces of fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

pretend its saturday.... what is the square root of 9? who cares? everyone knows that you don't do math on saturday.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Michael Jackson's favorite places: Toystore Candy shop Playground Amusment parks Kindergarden classroom Orphanige

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's round and bounces A basketball No!!!!!!! You dummy!!! Then what? Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

So a mama tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato were all walking down the street. The baby tomato was falling behind its parents. So the daddy tomato goes back, squishes the baby tomato and yells ketchup!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

There is a man who is half black half Jewish. He walking up a hill really fast. What happens to him? Answer: The Jewish side of his body will fall off and the black side will walk away.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Did you hear about the guy that dropped the soap in prison? He apparently gripped it a bit too tightly causing it to slip out of his hands, but managed to pick it up promptly and finish showering with no further incidence.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why didn't little billy have any friends? Billy bought a rifle, and shot everyone he had ever seen or talked to, even his family. Billy then tripped on his walk home and fell off a bridge, and into the ocean. Then a shark came and swallowed him. That is why you should never kill your friends and family because it will come back and bite you. Don't be like billy

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? I agree to the terms of service.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Toaster

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Ebola How about you?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

69

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops