whats better then 10 babies nailed to 1 tree... 1 baby nailed to 10 trees!

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Why is it incorrect that the universe will end in 2012? Because profound idiocy doesn't always occur.

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hi

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what did the 3 hispanic men say to the fat guy? you're in our seats

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What did the avocado say to the person? I can't talk

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was stuck in its coop on the farm. Also, chickens aren't sentient, so they can't reason the same way we do.

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Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

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Q: What do janitors and nuns have in common? A: They can't fly.

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John Rustenburg at the dinner table

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Stop being a centipede

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Why can't Hank drive? Hank is a stone.

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What's worse than finding a fly in your drink? Gonorrhea.

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An Irishman walks out of a bar

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. False. Violets are violet

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Welcome to die!

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What do you call a joke without a punchline?

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Penal Dysfunction

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How many software professionals does it take to get a file committed to source control? Well, today it took five.

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Nicole Ritchie walks into a grocery store.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting raped mercilessly by Ronald McDonald.

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A king's son's birthday came one day and the king asked what he wanted. "You can have anything in the world son." He would say. The prince answered,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." So for his birthday he got a rollar costar, a new car, a water park, a castle, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. The same answer went out of his mouth for three years. One day the prince was driving in his car, and he got into a terrible car accadent. And while he was in the ER and saying his last words, his father asked,"Son, before you die, i must know, why did you want purple ping pong balls for your all of those birthdays?" And the prince said,"Well I wanted them because-" and then he died.

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops