What do you call a comedian who can;t make people laugh? A bad comedian.

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why do people just recycle the same jokes over and over are you that desperate for some f*cking attention? The Holocaust

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What has 2 brown legs and 2 gray legs? An elephant with diarrhea.

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How do you scare a blonde woman? Tie her up and mutilate her family while she watches.

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How do you survive the plague? you dont.

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what do yo call two dog? dogs.

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There was a screwdriver and a spoon. What did the screwdriver say to the spoon? Nothing because neither of them are living objects and it is impossible for inanimate objects to talk.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

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If a man has a gun, but no arms or legs, is he armed?

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Ask me if I am a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Why did the man stand on one foot? Because he had one leg.

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Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels Why did bobby die? He was hit by a bus

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It was just Michael J. Fox's birthday I wonder if he got in trouble for shaking his presents.

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Shotest joke ever... Your dick.

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because he was insecure in his relationship with his soon to be wife.

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An Iraqi, an American and an Irishman get on a plane. They all enjoy the in-flight amenities, agree that the food was sub-standard and arrive at their destinations safely.

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69

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What swims in the ocean? Fish

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Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says to the other: "Maybe we should rethink our ways of life and realize why animals are on this planet"

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding multiple worms in your apple

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Roses are red, violetes are blue, Your monkey sucks.

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Mike tyson

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"How come dinosaurs don't talk?" " I don't know. Why?" " Because they're dead."

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- *Commits Suicide*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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