what did the farmer say to the cowgirl that made her positive that she had a weird laugh? you have a weird laugh.

What does an eagle and a worm have in common? They both live in the ground. Except the eagle.

What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 7 ate 9.

What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

How do you find a date? Look on the calendar!

Your mother is so fat........... that she is morbidly obese and is at severe risk for diabetes and other weight related diseases.

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If a tree falls on a cat in the woods, does it make a sound? Yes and no, the tree falling makes a loud noise, but the cat under it is instantly killed, preventing any sound that would of been made by the now crushed feline.

Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A. One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other's a highly trained professional skilled in the art of litigation.

what do trees and humans have in common? they both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

this website is the funniest thing i've ever seen, besides everything i've seen that's funnier than it

Have you ever heard of Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

People could crack eggs but Chuck Norris could crack chickens.

Can you guess the following words? Boo*s s*x *orn g*y cu*t b*tch Answers: Books, six, horn, guy, cult, batch.

Why are pirates called pirates? Because it derives from the Latin word, pirata.

What's worse than molding bread? Babies in the toaster.

Guess what I saw today?..........Nothing I'm Blind.

A man was driving five penguins across the Croatian-Serbian border. He was a penguin smuggler.

Q: What is the differenc between a Jew and a boy scout? A: The boy scout comes back from camp.

What should you do if you are locked in the trunk of a car? Yell for help.

A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nematode's. A Nematode is a type of round worm that lives under water, and while most are carnivorous, some feed on vegetation, such as pineapples.

What did the camera man say when the actor took off his pants? Why did you take off your pants?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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