A duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man running the stand "Quack"! because he's a duck... and that's what ducks do.

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What just hit my face? The floor

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A fish swims up stream for his anual spawning season The fish dies from a heart attack because of the rigorous that took place.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Me: You know what's funnier than 24. Friend: 25? Me: No, 9/11

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Good to know tattletale, I remember hating you back then when you betrayed me, but I cant wait to meet you again. Anyway Nero, I am a girl, its not about sex with me, I just had to tell you, and hope you will take better care of yourself, I know you used to be worried about your looks, and I just want you to understand ill be there for you no matter what. Thanks for the kind words Nero, I know you mean them, you never hid the fact that you found me attractive, but while I did not understand then why you would ruin every nice moment by saying something cheesy or rude, I think I get it now... I know you need rest, but can I arrive as soon as possible? Ill just wait outside or something, I wont be a bother I promise.

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How do you get an Irishman out of a bar? You politely ask him to leave.

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Q: How much does it cost to have 50cent and Nickleback perform together? A: 45 cents, because its 50 cents, and you get a nickle back

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daniel thinks 30 rock is funny

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A; On the other side was another beautiful looking chicken who he plans to marry and raise a family with.

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Once I asked a Chinese girl , how do I look ? . She said you Europeans all look the same .

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If at first you don't succeed, there's a very substantial probability that you failed.

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You're*

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What's chris benoit doing? Just hangin in the gym

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A Chinese man walked into a bar. He now has a minor concussion.

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your on a bus and you ask your math teacher if you got the answers on the homework right and the bus crashes in the middle of an intersection.

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A man walks into a bar Then another man shoots him in the head because he has anger issues.

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If woman that have big breasts work at Hooters, then do woman with one leg work at Ihop?

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Why did the penguin die? due to an increase in the quantity of greenhouse gases that are being released into the atmosphere, global warming is on the rise. So the penguin died because his home melted.

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

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So a dog walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Quickly, someone give me the number for animal control."

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

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.ellipsis { text-overflow: ellipsis; /* Required for text-overflow to do anything */ white-space: nowrap; overflow: hidden; }

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate to laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops