A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

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What do you call a black priest? Father

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What did the cat say when you rub it's stomach? Nothing because felines don't have the needed vocal organs to speak, and probaly wouldn't know english do to the size of there brain.

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While I was walking home from school one day, James Brown jumped out of a bush and punched me in the face. Then, when I got home, there was a walrus sitting on my couch. He then turned to look at me and said, "Penis". I then immediately farted out blades of grass.

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If you're doing a maths test, what type of pickles are best when licking a baseball bat? Sasquatch

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How do you keep a blond in suspense?

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(-(-(-(--)-)-)-) Look the chinese mafia

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Shit I'm bleeding.

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What do you call two dead blondes? A terrible day for their families and for many more to come

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How do you get 2000 people to go to heaven? Blow up a school.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was mad at it wife.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who?

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Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

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Q. How are a bird and a turtle alike? A. They both fly. Except the turtle.

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What is white and stands in the corner? A refridgerator who has been very bad...

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Two black men jump off a cliff, who wins? Wins what?

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What do you call a black person born in America? American.

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3 black guys are in the back of a car. Who is driving? A taxi driver

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what did the blonde mail to her boyfriend? nothing, blonde's can't write.

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Whats funnier then a dead baby? A lot of things.

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Justin Bieber got laid

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? a deer...

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Why did the man stop chewing gum? I threw a grenade at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops