Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I eat you and die of obesity due to high blood pressure and bad heart disease!!!

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What is the Pope's favourite dish to order from the local Indian take-away? Korma.

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how do you kill a little girl? seeing as murder is a federal offence i will not tell you how. you should be ashamed for asking.

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What happens when a rabbit is late for a very important date? Nothing, rabbits have no logical way to keep track of time.

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Why did the father not text back? He died in a car crash

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Why did John stay home from school? He died.

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How do you make sushi if you are a fish? Commit suicide and sell yourelf to a sushi resturant!

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Two giraffes walk into a bar, hit their heads, cracktheir skulls and die.

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She said no

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whats worse than shitting in a urinal??? shitting in a shower

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Yo momma so ugly that she had self esteem issues and committed suicide, making her husband extremely depressed.

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John is typing... *2 seconds later" John: Hi

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Q:What did I get for Christmas? A:You, put on this leash.

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What happen to the guy who didn't breathe A. He died

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Darkness Falls Across The Land The Midnite Hour Is Close At Hand Creatures Crawl In Search Of Blood To Terrorize Y'awl's Neighbourhood And Whosoever Shall Be Found Without The Soul For Getting Down Must Stand And Face The Hounds Of Hell And Rot Inside A Corpse's Shell The Foulest Stench Is In The Air The Funk Of Forty Thousand Years And Grizzy Ghouls From Every Tomb Are Closing In To Seal Your Doom And Though You Fight To Stay Alive Your Body Starts To Shiver For No Mere Mortal Can Resist The Evil Of The Thriller

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knock knock who's there aids

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch."

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Wade

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What do you call a man or woman who has sex, records it on video, and sells the recordings for money? A porn star.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Banana. Go away.

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A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

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Your mom is so fat because she ate her emotions when your dad walked out, not to mention her history of bulimia as a teenager.

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Why did the gecko cross the road.... Because he saw great deals on car insurance!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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