What did the one bagpiper say to the other? Nothing, one cannot speak while playing the bagpipes.

whats purple and savage? Barney!

What is the difference between a duck? It can neither ride a bike.

I saw a poor man named rich

how do you make a family tan? You burn them in the house.

peter charastabopouloulous

How do you get a black man to use a condom? You explain to him all the benefits of safe sex.

What do you call a kid with cancer? screwed

Why did the 16 yearold pregnant girl cross the road? To get to the abortion center

Knock knock Who's there? Yo mamma Nobody's home, go away mom

Why do people read Bibles? To learn about God.

What is the best part about football The scoring

Person 1 : i need to sneeze Person 2 : ok ( person 1 sneezes ) Person 2 : bless u ( few seconds later ) did u sneeze? Person 1 : yep :)

What word does almost everyone spell wrong? Wrong.

whats one word that gets everyones attention? rapist,bomb,and sex

roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

Why couldn't the man walk? Because his leg is broken.

What did the monkey say to the owner of the world's rarest stamp? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

Do you wanna hear a Ebola joke? You probably won't get it

How do you get a firetruck to swerve uncontrollably? Shoot the driver with a 12 gauge.

A Jewish man died in a car crash. His family mourned his death throughout the next few years.

John has 38 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

Knock knock who's there? Screw this Screw this who? Im screwing this like ur boyfriend screwed you!

Why couldn't the ten year old watch a porno movie? Because it was on blu-ray and his family only owned a regular dvd player.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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