when i start seeing A TON of black people what does that mean? im color blind

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A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish, who had a horrible accident with a fishing hook

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Matty B

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What's yellow and can't Swim? A bulldozer

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whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies and their grieving mothers standing over them. thats what.

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Why did the man have blood on his finger? Because he popped a pimple

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What did the boy tell the girl at recess? An anti-joke

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So did you hear what happened to the deaf guy? He didn't either

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What did the kid use to smell his food His nose

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What do you get when you mix a dog with speeding bus? Nothing, you can't mix those two things.

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Pull over dat ass to fat, no seriously your blocking a firelane

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(speaking to an orphan) knock, knock who's there not your parents

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My mom told me to shut up because I was screaming as I was strangled.

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What do a black person and a monkey have in common? A. They both are organism that need food and water to survive.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not doing your Webtime on a Friday!!

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So one day a man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like to drink. He said he would like a glass of water. The bartender said "why come all the way to a bar just to get some water." The man responded "well its a longer walk to the coffee shop."

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I had a "What would jesus do bracelet" and some kid kicked me in the shin... As i was contemplating on what to do to him, i looked at the bracelet and remembered.... SO I SET HIM ON FIRE AND SENT HIM TO HELL!!!

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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I raped someone in my basement... ...Just Kidding!... ...I dont have a basement

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what happened after 9/11?? 9/12.

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Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I am color blind

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? A bike that his father paid for with the salary he made as an accountant at a local bank.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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