Roses are red Violets are blue I'm about to kill you Don't scream, here's a lollipop

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Cows go moo.

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knock knock whos there? the police, your under arrest

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Chuck Norris once went skydiving. his parachute did not deploy. where he landed is now known as the grand canyon

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Hitler.. Hitlar... Hillar... Hillary Clinton

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what red black and white al over? a t.v I was kidding about the red part

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It was just Michael J. Fox's birthday I wonder if he got in trouble for shaking his presents.

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roses are gray violets are gray everything's gray I'm a #$%ing dog

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how did hitler fit 100 Jews in his car??? he couldn't, his car only fits 5 people.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Everybody leaves except Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson never walked out alive

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What do you get when you mix Catholicism and Islam? War

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You know what big feet mean? Big socks

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Jennifer Kim is the nicest person I have ever met, everyone loves her.

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What did the pregnant teenager get for her birthday? An abortion.

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Why did the shark put on a dress? She was getting ready for prom.

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How do you find a date? Look on the calendar!

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What is yellow and has thick, shiny fur? A banana. I lied about the fur.

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you know whats weird about italians? their italian

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What did the colonel say to the soldier before he got into the army tank? Get in.

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knock knock who's there? no one, but I appreciate the fact you asked.

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you were my brotha, from another motha, you touch my girl, ill leave you dead in the gutta.

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How many chicken feathers are there in a 50 pound bag? 50 pounds worth Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a duck Why did the man cross the road? It was duck season A woman is dying but can't reach her husband. Why? A duck ate his cell-phone A pig walks into a bar but there is no bartender. Where is she? Dead A duck hunter is selling a duck to a man. The man only pays the duck hunter a quarter. Why? It was full of chicken feathers.

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? Molest them.

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Ay Bee Cee Dee Ey Ef Gee Haych Eye Jay Kay El Em En Ow Pee Queue Our Es Tee You Vee Doubleyou Ex Why Zed Now you know your ABC, come along and sing with me!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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