Why doesn't Michael J. Fox drive a stick shift? He was raised in an urban area and was only taught to maneuver with vehicles that shifted automatically.

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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The internet is the most terrible fucking place in existence.

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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A man walks into a bar. I don't know what happened next because I was waiting outside for my friend.

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What's green and gets people high? A green helicopter

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It was just Michael J. Fox's birthday I wonder if he got in trouble for shaking his presents.

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Whats worse than a paper cut? Nine/Eleven

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Q: what is funny today A: your parents died in a horrible car accident

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Q: I have 2 dogs. Why? A: I like dogs

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there's 4 men, a rabbi, a priest, a monk, and a captain. they all go on the captain's ship for a cruise with a couple hundred people. this was during the cold war, and the ship was mistaken for a war ship, and the russians missled it. the monk says: "we have to get everyone off the ship!" the rabbit say: "NO! the women and children need to get off first! And we should also hail to Satan!" the Captain says: "OMG! It's a talking Rabbit!" the priest then stops the rabbit to death!" the rabbi says: "The rabbit is right! But just the children!" The Captain says: "Screw the children! this ship is going to Hell, we have talking animals saying we should worship the devil!" the priest says: "Do you think we have time" the monk, the rabbi, and the captain stare and beat him to death.... "Well, he was already going to Hell" the Monk says. But during this entire time the ship has been sinking and another missle blows up the ship. Everyone dies, except for Sean Conery...and Chuck Norris.

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Why couldn't the 1 year old talk? It's a 1 year old, idiot, it can't!

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a water because he's the designated driver

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Steve,Jerry and tom all go into the mens toilets, because they are men.

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Why did Billy want cancer? So he could be like his parents.

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Jews... The only funny thing they did was piss off Adolf Hitler

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How do you get a dog to obey your rules?¿¿? Threaten to beat it with a rod!¡!

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A black guy walks into a dilapidated house and purchases large amounts of narcotics. Racism isn't funny.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swings? -Because he had no arms Knock knock! Who's there? Not Timmy

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how did hitler fit 100 Jews in his car??? he couldn't, his car only fits 5 people.

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Whats worse than The Holocaust? TEN HOLOCAUSTS!!!!

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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What is grey and smells like sand? A Rock.

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A: Knock Knock! B: No ones home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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