There was a cat, an astronaut and a nun. The cat was sleeping, the astronaut was floating, and the nun was praying. There was a singer, a dancer and an actor. The singer was singing, the dancer was dancing, and the actor was acting.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Billy drop his lunchbox? Because he was mauled by a Hippo.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why must you never cross an elephant with a human being? It is impossible anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

The club cant even handle me right now Because theyve reached their limit of people allowed in

thumb_up thumb_down -14

"Hello?" "Is your refrigerator running??" "Yes..." "Oh. Well then have a nice day."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Mrs. Welsh

thumb_up thumb_down -14

how do you drown a blonde? strategically place a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool (or just a regular sticker because, quite honestly, they won't be able to tell the difference as the water fills their lungs)

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the cookie go to the doctor's office? He had brain cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Bailey you suck at writing anti jokes quit!!!!!!!!!!! :( :( :( :( :(

thumb_up thumb_down -14

An Hispanic married couple walked into a popular restaurant. The waiter arrived at their table and asked what they would like to eat. The husband ordered a steak and his wife ordered a salad. They both enjoyed their food, payed the bill and happily walked out of the restaurant.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

First person: Knock, knock. Second person: Who's there? First person: You know. Second person: 'You know' who? First person: O.O LORD VOLDEMORT!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A Guy walks into a Bar, has a good time and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down -16

patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How did the blond become a lawyer? She didnt. After many years of collage and studying, she broke down and quit, and became a stripper.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they turned around and went home

thumb_up thumb_down -16

a dyslexic Satan worshiper sold his soul to Santa

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was Michael Jackson seen shopping at Kmart? Because he heard little boys pants were 50% off the original price.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's a cow's favorite vacation spot? the slaughterhouse.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down -16

knock knock, whos there? the repo man.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's pink and wrinkley and hangs out your pj's? Ya nanna :)

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops