How do you get a baby out of a blender? Pour it.

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What is the best thing about chuck norris? hes holding a gun to my hea

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Baby you think i loved you, but you got played too

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? Go bird hunting.

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What do you call a thirsty girl? H2Hoe

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead. Q: Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? A: Because he was stapled to the monkey.

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- Knock knock - I have a doorbell

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Why couldn't little Jessica open the door? It was locked

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Knock-knock who's there? interrupting cow interupting cow who? moo.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.

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HOLY SHIT BITCH!!!

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Q: What do you call a hobo asking for change? A: Get off my driveway!

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How did the man with no arms or legs cross the street? He didn't.

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Want to hear a dead baby joke? Abortion

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a coke. The bartender looks at the gentlemen with a little smile and says "Just a coke?"

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What's worse than a tornado that kills your whole whole family? Nothing.

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What did timmy fall off the swings? He had no arms

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A seal walks into a club.

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What did the fish say? Moo

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There are two hippopotamus' in a pond cooling off from the hot day. One is named Nathaniel IV and the other Timothy. Timothy asks Nathaniel, "Nathaniel, what day is it today?" Nathaniel then replies," I believe it is Tuesday." Timothy is taken back then replies," How odd. I could've sworn it was Wednesday."

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How did the mermaid break her arm? She fell out of a tree.

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what is the difference between babies and trampolines? you take your shoes off when jumping on a trampoline

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Why was the lemon not feeling well? Because it had lemon aids.

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2 black guys are riding in a car, whos driving? The cops.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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