A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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My phone rang. So I answered it.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Its socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

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Q: what is funny today A: your parents died in a horrible car accident

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? It's not. Numbers are not living organisms and thus are incapable of experiencing emotion.

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A girl asks a guy "How come you don't take me dancing anymore?" The guy said "Because we were both killed in a car accident."

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Why did the basketball player shoot the ball? Because it was being mean to him

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OMG this totally works! Step 1: Hold your breath Step 2: Die

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Why do Jews make sure their cars can stop on a dime? So if something happens unexpectedly when they are driving they have a better chance of avoiding a dangerous collision.

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roses are red, violets are blue, charcoal is black, and my neighbor is too.

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OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

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Dont be mean Dyslexics are teople poo

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Knock knock whos there punctuation

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Q. What's the difference between a movie star and a manikin? A. Nothing.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 'Cause 7 slept with 8 and punched 4 in the face.

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The grass is always greener on the give me a blowjob.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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If someone throws a fridge at the boy then they must be exceptionally strong because fridges weigh more than the average human can lift therefor he has a good future ahead of him but will have to live with the fact that he hurt a small child

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scenario: 12 men in bikinis throwing snowballs at each other in Africa. Question: Who ate all the world's giant pears? Answer: It was an allergy to noses!!

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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what did eminem say to dr.dre? nothing u idoits dr.dres dead he is locked in my basement

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it lacks the cognitive reasoning ability necessary to determine that walking into oncoming traffic will surely result in death

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What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

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What did the girl say to the guy raping her? Stop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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