Kumquats, daffodils, and potato salad.

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Why did Mary fail to consume her breakfatst? Because Suzy has a history of bi-polar disorder as well as anorexia.

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What does an Asian man, Black man, & a Hick all have in common with automatic weapons? The Asian is Vietnamese and fought in the Nam, The Black guy lives in the ghetto and was shot in a drive by, and the hick and his best friend got drunk and shot each other in the foot.

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A Jew sits down next to a muslim at the bar. They great and discuss their day's events, they both order beers. Then they go home.

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Want to hear a tough toung twister? spoons

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? The orgasm.

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What's funnier than poop? More poop

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: Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

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You want to hear a joke? Adobe Flash Player.

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why did Suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock? whos there not Suzie

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What did the person say to the person about to run into the tree? Watch out for that tree!

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guy 1: hey, i got a new dog. isn't he cute? guy 2: i just lit him on fire

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what did the cheese say to the wall? nothing cheese can't talk.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

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Why was the black man escorted out of the bar? Civil rights is still a real issue in this country and must be solved.

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What did the skeleton say to the man? Nothing.

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Facebook...

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What happens when a man and a woman really love each other?... - They'll most likely go on a date and enjoy themselves.

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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A Black man and an Asian man are at a bar. They have a few drinks and then leave.

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What did the little girls who's parents died in a car accident get for her birthday? Foster Parents

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There is a knock on the door. Little Jimmy comes dowstairs opens the door and standing in the door way is the axe wielding manic fromTexas Chainsaw.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was being herded into a slaughter house to be killed, then packaged and shipped out to restaurant venders all across the country.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops