Do you ever feel, like a plastic bag? No, because plastic bags are man-made inanimate objects.

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What happens when you push an asian in a hole? He falls in

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A disabled man runs into a bar. He notices he's not disabled and realizes his mother lied to him his whole life.

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What did the little girls who's parents died in a car accident get for her birthday? Foster Parents

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What did the dinosaur say to the caveman? Nothing. Dinosaurs were wiped off the earth due to a tragic, world wide extinction about 65 million years ago while small mammals which would eventually evolve into humans survived.

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On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, AIDS

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Where do rabbais go to shop? At the supermarket like everyone else.

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What do you get when you cross a zombie with a beer? Nothing because zombies are just another subject dealing with the occult.

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How do you kill the President of the United States? Your name has been reported to the authorities.

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How do you starve a black family? Hide there government assistance card under their work boots!

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What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

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Why did the computer crash? Because the driver transporting the computer to his friend lost control of his vehicle.

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A Jew sits down next to a muslim at the bar. They great and discuss their day's events, they both order beers. Then they go home.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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What did the asian parent say to his kid when he got a D? -It's OK son, you will do better next time.

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Whats the different between a black man and white man...... the different levels melanin in the skin that results in pigment

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What's funnier than somebody spitting in someone else's food? It's not even funny, it's just plain rude and disgusting.

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Nipples+poop= good stuff. Hellllll yeaaahhhh

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Yolo: Your Oppurtunity Lies Upon...... oh, wait upon starts with a u... YOLU

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What do you call a dumb Asian? An Asian who lacks education.

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I just read the long joke posted earlier. I have no life. :(

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why did the manager fire his black employee? Because he was stealing office supplies. Why was he stealing office supplies? Because he needed the money for his family. Why did he need that money? Because he wasn't being paid his full wage. Why wasn't he being paid full wage? Because his employer was a racist. Upon this analysis, the state of California ruled the case of Jones vs. Smith in favour of Mr. Jones, and ordered Mr. Smith to give Mr. Jones a cash settlement of $500,000. However, Mr. Jones was still convicted with a single charge of petty theft and was sentenced to six months in prison. His family was still awarded the settlement of $500,000. Mr. Jones made parole three months early for being an "idol inmate."

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Roses are red, Violets at blue. My mind is twisted, Bend over bitch your about to get fisted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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