A man runs into a bar and warns everyone about the hurricane.

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What do you call a white man in the NBA? A really good basketball player

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A friend asks his buddy, "Hey, what's your favorite color?" Buddy slowly turns his head and stares intensely at the only black person in the room and says," "White." Buddy has never been called racist.

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What do you call a guy so fat that he can't fit in a bath tub? A guy so fat that he can't fit in a bath tub.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

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What did the kid with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? A: Polio.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a Ford Taurus stapled to his face.

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Why did the woman cry? She was sodomized by wild animals

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Knock knock. Who's there? Black guy. Due to your skin tone I feel you may cause potential danger to me and my family, so for that reason I will not allow you to enter my home.

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Shit Happens....or sometimes it doesn't! As the person is taken to the hospital with severe constipation.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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What was the beauty pageant contestant with a bladder control problem told by the judges? You’re an 8.

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That awkward moment when the moment isn't awkward.

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? He didn't either.

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A jew went to Germany.

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What does the black guy say to his black friend? "I like Watermelon, Grape Drink, and Fried Chicken.

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What happened september 11th, 2001 It was my first time snorkoling in Hawaii

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What is black, white, and red all over? A domino dipped in kitten blood.

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What do you call a strait man that is also gay? Bisexual.

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where do cows go on dates? the slaughter house

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-What's the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage. _________________________________________________________________ -What's the difference between 1,000 dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't use a pitch fork to move my Lamborghini.

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Wanted: A tall, well built woman with good reputation, who can cook Frog's legs, who appreciates a good Fuc- shia garden, classical music and tal- king with out getting too serious. Now read only lines 1,3, and 5

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Roses are red violets are blue you're the middle child no one cares about you

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Ask me if I am a truck. Are you a truck? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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