What has wings, is bald, and can't fly? A bald eagle. I lied about the part where it can't fly.

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What is invisible and smells like bananas? Monkey Farts.

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney loves you.

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why do black people hate aspirin? Its white, it works, and you have to pick cotton to get to it.

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Why was poor justin killed His mother kicked him into a pool of blood-thirsty aligators.

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why did the chicken cross the road Why not

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or words that begin with "F" and end in "uck." So you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? Peanut butter is a food paste made primarily from dry roasted peanuts, while jam is a product made with whole fruit, that is cut into pieces or crushed.

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knock, knock! who`s there? it`s me ! who me? yes!

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knock knock who's there? Barbra Streisand Barbra Streisand who? Barbra? Streisand whoo oo oooo oo oo oo ooo ooo!

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Ask me if i'm a tree... "Are you a tree?".... No

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Mr. Burns sex scandal.

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27

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Where do black jews go? The back of the oven

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? They threw a fridge at her.

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Q. Why did the rooster switch on the TV? A. Just for some hentertainment!

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( o Y o )

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whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had terminal brain cancer.

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A man walks into a bar with an ape. The ape defecates on the floor. The bartender ordered them both out.

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I'm so hungry I feel I would be able to ingest large quantities of food.

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Dislike if you are gay (watch how many dislikes this joke gets :P)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops