There's two men on a subway. One says "Hey, that's my sandwich.".

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

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why was the black guy crying because he was getting whiped because he wasent working in the felids

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A drunk man walks out of a bar, goes home and abuses his wife.

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What did the scientist have to say about religion when he was asked by a local reporter? He said that it is a cultural system that creates powerful and long-lasting meaning, by establishing symbols that relate humanity to truths and values.

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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Knock Knock It's Open!

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Q: What do you call a women with 2 bowling pins? A: A women with 2 bowling pins.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police, we found your cat's body on the side of the road.

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Did you hear about the man who didn't get a burger with his meal?! Yes he is doing quite well on his diet don't you agree?

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weiner? balls

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Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

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How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 5.

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What do you call a guy who acts straight but is really not? Verl.

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Three black guys walked into a bar. They all behaved very nicely, payed their bills and left when they where done.

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A man was walking on the sidewalk until he saw a bird. He said, "Is that a bird?", and it was a bird.

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How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except it didn't work for the boy with ice cream.

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what's 2 + 2? i don't know that's why i'm asking you

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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42

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Whats Mary short for? Shes got no legs

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whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing you should be worrying about the future not the past.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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How do you make a business man cry? Hit him in the face with a brick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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