A man falls into a lake but no one is around to help him, luckily the man can swim so he got out of the lake and went home feeling embarrassed

42.

How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

A:Your so fat that you take up the hole room B:If i am fat,Then i can crush you down thin head!

Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus.

so a guy says to his doctor "it hurts when i touch my leg" the doctor replies "but we cut it of last week" he promptly died with an infection in his leg

Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

Pickles

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell down and bumped his head He suffered a serious concussion and was never the same again.

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

Hitler was a pretty good guy I guess

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?? Where's my tractor?

What's worse than your mother dying in a car crash? Your father dying in the same crash.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was both deaf and blind and both senses are essential to a driver

Why did the person play his XBOX 360? because he felt like it.

There once was a man from Nantucket. He had a huge appendage; his arm has been swollen from birth. What a bummer

what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

I was once raped by an Asian... it didnt hurt

Whats worse than a paper cut? AIDS.

A man walks in a bar. He walks out.

Q: What did Hellen Keller say to the pizza delivery man A: Stop raping me.

Obama enters a KKK meeting Obama: Oh sorry I thought this was the Kentucky Fried Chicken... the font was so small so... as he starts backing off scared... KKK: leader, of course Mr.President, feel free to come again anytime! Moral: Kings Knocking Ketchup is actually a nice place if you not unlike me enjoy ketchup...

What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They are obviously different species but they both have wings and are birds and are actually pretty similar. Geese are usually bigger though I guess.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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