What happened to the orphan on Christmas? he got raped

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Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Get in the car

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What did the blind man do in the dark room? Nothing, he couldn't see.

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what did the ruler say to the other ruler your a ruler

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Do you know that car over there? No.

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Where did Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Whats green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree you'll die? A pool table.

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why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

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It is green and it is attached to a fence? Green paint

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How did the blond die? Substance abuse

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Wanna hear a joke? Toyota

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Unflushed Shit...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, it is unclear what the chicken's motivation to cross the road was.

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Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

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How many blondes does is take to screw a man? one and a condem

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whats the difference between a black person , spook and a porchmoney.... there is none there all stupid stinky n-ag-ger-s

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

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What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Guy: If you can guess what's in my hand, you can have it. Girl: If it fits in one hand, you can keep it!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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