Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs? A: Russell

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Small titties.

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My mom's dead

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? He was feeling upset because his wife left him and took full custody of his three kids. His friend cheered him up and took him to the party. At the party, he did a line of cocaine and became a drug addict. He died six months later.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was disowned by his family due to his drug addiction and had nowhere else to go.

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Why did OJ SImpson never get convicted of murder? Because after going to court and proving his innocence a jury of twelve people found him not guilty.

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-Whats the worst part about being a black jew? -You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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What's the difference between a lamborghini and a sackful of dead babies? one is a car and the other is a grotesque travesty.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause your mom has cancer

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Sarah Palin is President

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What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

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Roses are black biolets are black I colorblind

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A hot girl walks by a boy and he stares at her as she walks past. She see's him and asks "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied "Oh I'm sorry. You happened to look familiar and I thought 'Perhaps I've met this person before. School? No. Work? No. I then concluded I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at".

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What do you call someone that hates gay people? An asshole.

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What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a women? Sex.

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"Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "The police. We're looking for three escaped inmates posing as bananas."

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why did the 8 year old want a squirt gun? his parents were on fire

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I love Ciara!

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Why are black guys so tall? Because their knee grows

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms ... Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie

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The burgler walked into the house. Nobody noticed the initial intrusion. The burgler quickly left. The family of which was stolen from woke up the next day and enjoyed a hearty breakfast of grains, oats, and barley without a worry on anyone's mind.

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Why was jimmy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face

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Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A:Because it is scary

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What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops