Why aren't jokes funny in base 8? Because 7, 10, 11.

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Someone once told me a joke. It was funny.

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a man walks into a bar..... the man pulls out a gun and robs the place as he is exiting he bumps into a child the child falls in the street and is crushed by a bus. the bus in an attempt to avoid the child swerves and hits a maternity clinic next to a gas station that promptly explodes. the robber so distraught he trys to shoot himself but the gun misfired and the man was arrested and was raped repeatedly in prison...he now has aids...

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Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

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What's the difference between a white person and a chair? -The chair isn't a complete douche.

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A small child and a pedophile are walking hand-in-hand through the dark, creaky woods. "Mister," says the small child, " I'm scared." "YOU'RE scared?" says the pedophile. "I'M the one who's gonna have to walk back alone!"

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your mom is so lesbian that in prder to have you she planted a seed in her vagina because she refused to have sex with a man

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roses are red, violets are not, this poem makes no sense. Bananas

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Why did the kid cross the road? He was strapped to a chicken!

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Your mother is so obese that the extra weight is putting strain on her knees she now needs knee surgery.

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What's even faster than the speed of light? The speed you close out of porn when you hear someone coming into the room.

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That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

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guess what? chicken butt.

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what did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? cancer.

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69

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Did you see Ray Charles's house? No. Yeah, neither did he.

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How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

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What's worse than throwing 8 babies off a cliff? Throwing 1 baby off a cliff.

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What was the pirate's favorite letter? Q.

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A man asked another man what he was doing the next day. The man then proceeded to tell him that he had not intended on having any plans due to the fact that he was planning on killing himself within the next twenty three hours.

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why is the grass green? all the other colors in the electromagnetic spectrurm are absorbed except for green which is reflected and thats the only visable color

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What happens when you are caught in the serious offense of killing somebody with intent? You get in trouble.

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How do you make a blond cry? Rape her

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What did the parrot say to the cow? Moo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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